Visiting The Austin Alpaca Playhouse

is by invitation only

Please, Please, Please read these “Rules & Instructions”

At the Austin Alpaca Playhouse our mission is to let your Alpaca Dreams run free.  Our goal is to redefine your idea of what an Alpaca Playhouse can be. 

To make this all work, we have a few critical requests:

1. Always, Always, Always keep the back fence gates closed. Don’t leave them open for a second or the Alpaca will wonder off, and you may spend the rest of your life chasing lost alpaca dreams.

2. PARKING: Please follow signs and Respect Neighborhood Sovereignty.

   • DO NOT park in front of neighbors houses.

   • When you come in the gate, you can park in the gravel lot on the right when you come in, if it is not full already. Park facing either the street or the container - and near other cars - don’t be a space hog. We are not a hog playhouse. Do that stuff somewhere else.

   • If there is no space in the lot you can park across the street to the left past two houses, facing the highway - (NOT IN FRONT OF A HOUSE) or if there is no room there, you can park on the frontage road (turn left before the highway) and then park to the right of the signs that say “no parking to the left”. This is 5 minute walk.

   • DO NOT PARK OR DRIVE ANYWHERE ON THE GRASS beyond the gate. There are Sprinklers that may get damaged, and you are likely to get stuck in the mud if it has rained. It’s a $200 towing bill.

   • Don’t ever park your car on the circle or by the garage. This obstructs Amazon delivery access, which is fundamental.

   • And don’t dare park in front of the sauna or garage no matter how tempting

3. NO MEAT inside And NO ALCOHOL (unless its your wedding)

   • Do not bring any alcohol to the Playhouse. Please bring only healthy food to share with others and include vegetarian options. There is no alcohol or sugar filled treats at Playhouse events. There is no meat inside the house. You can put meat in the doghouse refrigerator (not the garage), and you can cook meat outside, but don’t stare at the Alpaca when you do.

4. INVITING OTHERS

   • Please do not invite guests without asking. Who should you ask? Just find someone sharply dressed who looks responsible. All guests must read this page. If you haven’t read this page, you’re not yet welcome. Give the “alpacaplayhouse.com/visiting” link any time you want to invite someone over. Never give the the ADDRESS never post the address. NEVER please - this always causes problems when you do. Be part of the solution, not the problem. Give the link. Don’t give the address, which is at the bottom of the link.

5. Clean up and “Leave No Mess”. Please be extra mindful to help with cleaning, don’t leave your bags on counters in the Living Room or Kitchen, better to stash in the dining room. Don’t leave beverage cans, tea cups, or napkins where you last used them. Also read the Orientation Guide when you arrive for the hot tips on living your Best Playhouse Life™ . There is charging all over the house for phones and also outside if you look hard. If you are staying the night please read the Overnighters Guide. Don’t stay unless you read it. Don’t put anything in toilets other than toilet paper or you will wreck things.

6. Please look around and figure things out - on your own - whenever you need something. Read the labels. Read the website. Don’t ask people where the spoons are. Don’t ask where things in the kitchen are if you haven’t read the labels.

7. Please turn amazing music on (using Spotify device connect or Sonos S1 app with secret network on the oriention page), but be super careful you are playing in the right zone, vs. blasting out some innocent sleeping bystander in a different room. Too many have lost sleep…

8. Dogs: Don’t let your dog enter the Alpaca domain in the back, even though he/she is so special that one could only assume the rules surely wouldn’t apply such a divine & gracious creature. You can tie them in the front.

9. BOTTLES and CUPS": Bring a water bottle. There are 3 filtered water dispensers onsite. Don’t bring full plastic water bottles. There are lots of bottles to borrow above the oven if you need.

10. Lastly, DO NOT call the Alpaca “Llamas”. They look so sweet, but if they hear you call them “Llama”, they will likely pull a knife and take you out - quick and silent. They claim humans are better fertilizer than alpaca manure.

Location

We are 15 minutes east of the Austin Airport on Hwy 71

Google Maplink

Address: 160 Still Forest Drive, Cedar Creek, TX 78612

(don’t give this address to anyone ever. give them the link to this page alpacaplayhouse.com/visiting even if they are in an uber. Do it for the Alpaca. )